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Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest

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seattle

An Honest April Fool’s Day

April 1, 2021 by Anthony

It was so, so hard to retrain myself today. After all, it’s the first day of the fourth month of this year, making it → A P R I L  F O O L ‘ S  D A Y ←, the best day of the year for light-hearted shenanigans.

Unfortunately, it’s not easy to come up with feasible pranks around here. We can’t play dramatic jokes on the chimps because so much of their daily routine is done just the way they like it and mixing things up can cause a lot of confusion. We also take safety very seriously, so surprising each other with unexpected circumstances can be risky, too. On top of all that, we’re just too darn busy to go around the sanctuary playing practical jokes on each other and cleaning up the resulting messes.

That leaves one plausible alternative: trying to fool all of you.

I considered writing a fake blog post that would be somewhat absurd but almost believable. The champions of this art form are the writers at The Onion who have made satirical hoaxes into their own brand of journalism. They miss their target occasionally, but most of their stuff is on point. The Onion has been in the game for a long time, giving their staff time to cover all sorts of topics, from politics to science. If you want to read some of their animal-themed articles, I recommend:

“Jane Goodall Announces She’s All About Lizards Now”

“Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday”

“Zookeepers Confirm Pandas Not Mating Because They’re Scared of Messing Up Friendship”

Over the past couple of days, I mulled over some Onion-esque headlines that I could share today in an attempt to prank our blog followers. The actual, verified news in 2021 has been weird enough, giving me some inspiration. For example, I could have posted that:

  • We traded the cattle for a herd of goats because… you know.. goats.
  • J.B. made Burrito’s “Hey Girl” portrait into an NFT and sold it for $18.1 million
  • Missy and Annie are leaving the sanctuary to go on that cross-country road trip they’ve always talked about
  • Honey B is dropping her first studio album, titled Soap Bucket, under the pseudonym “Money B”
  • The crew divided Young’s Hill into ten smaller enclosures so the chimps can follow social distancing guidelines

The worst idea of them all was one so diabolical that I almost feel guilty for even thinking it up. I genuinely considered telling you all that today’s blog post would be the final one… EVER.

It was nearly perfect, as far as pranks go. Crucially, it’s actually quite believable. Apart from routine caregiving, the expansion has been the main priority for us lately. This growth necessitates fundraising for the new greenhouses, coordinating with contractors, painting and furnishing the new playrooms, and getting the records in order for the six chimpanzees we hope to welcome this summer. We are truly looking for ways to streamline our day-to-day operations to compensate for all the new tasks we’ve added to our schedules, and there’s now a precedent for spending less time on the blog. (In case you missed it, we recently had to post abbreviated blog entries for a few weeks while we participated in virtual training sessions.) My plan was to drop this sad news on all of you and then correct it before we resumed blogging tomorrow. Gotcha!

After discussing my idea with Diana and J.B., I was convinced that this joke could easily go too far. So many people use our social media as their primary window into the lives of the chimpanzees and cattle, whom they love from afar. Despite the tempting lure of April Fool’s glory, I just couldn’t break any of your hearts like that.

In light of all this, you’ll be surprised to know that the rest of this blog post is completely serious. There isn’t a single joke in here. Nothin’ but facts. Unaltered truth, fact-checked by yours truly. Exceptionally honest, through and through.

Besides April Fool’s Day, today was noteworthy for one main reason.

The contractors have finished their work in the new playrooms and these spaces are almost ready for chimps. There are now functioning hydraulic doors from the existing enclosures into each playroom. Notably, the crew had to modify some of the caging in the Mezzanine, resulting in a new “cubby”. Honey B, Mave and Willy B have been taking turns using the odd little space as breakfast nook and nesting cave, among other things. Poor Willy initially seemed nervous to touch the floor in this tiny little space, despite the fact that it’s the same material as the floors in his other indoor enclosures. He brought a plastic stool to sit on instead, limiting himself to a couple feet of head-room.

With the welding complete and doors working, J.B. was able to touch up the paint and Chad has begun hanging firehose “vines” for the chimps to climb on. Mave and Honey B supervised from the downstairs window and the new cubby, respectively. We plan to clean the new playrooms this weekend and then give some of the chimps access to them very, very soon. Stay tuned for updates!

Here are some additional photos of the new playrooms (including one of the vista from the upstairs windows).

Meanwhile, the contractors will begin securing the steel caging to the outdoor greenhouses. It may be difficult to visualize these new areas just yet, but you can trust us when we say that they’re going to be amazing multi-use habitats for Honey B, Mave and Willy B and six new chimpanzees. We already have a foundation and frame in place for these structures, so we’re confident that these spacious greenhouse enclosures will be ready before the summer!

P.S. I’m offering special internet bonus points to anyone who can find the marmot hidden somewhere in this post.

Filed Under: Caregivers, Construction, Honey B, Mave, Sanctuary, Willy B Tagged With: animal rescue, animal rights, Animal Welfare, chimp, chimp enrichment, chimp sanctuary, chimpanzee, chimpanzee sanctuary, Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, chimpanzees, chimps, Cle Elum, Primates, Sanctuary, seattle, wildlife waystation

Meredith

March 21, 2021 by Anthony

Those of you who follow CSNW on Instagram may have noticed that we regularly feature images of the four rescued Jersey cattle who graze the pastures around the sanctuary. Since these herbivorous creatures are so different from their chimpanzee neighbors, focusing on the cattle can be a welcome change of pace for the sanctuary staff and social media followers alike.

In the recent “Bovine Break” post from a couple days ago, we shared a photograph of the four Jersey cattle resting together in their winter paddock. They have formed a tightly-knit herd and are rarely seen apart, which is justified given their history and family bonds. Still, they each have their own colorful personality and quirky tendencies, and the image highlighted one of these characteristic traits.

While Betsy, Honey and Nutmeg were all aligned so they could view the hills and forests to the north of the sanctuary, Meredith was turned completely around and facing the other direction, chewing her cud without any indication that she wanted to conform with the others. We always joke that she has idiosyncratic tendencies, but it was nice to capture it visually for all to see. Standing while the others lay down, laying down while the others stand, facing the opposite direction, lagging behind the group… such is Meredith’s nature.

I used her peculiarity to my advantage when I went out to photograph the cattle this afternoon. The other three acted inconvenienced and trotted away, but Merry quietly waddled alongside me at her own pace. She’s not always in an affectionate mood, but she occasionally paused to suspiciously sniff my muck boots and gently lick my hands. We stopped at the paddock gate where she stood and watched the others (who had nonchalantly strolled through together). Eventually, I left them to their own endeavors. Apart from the satisfaction of capturing some nice portraits, I was also content to share a peaceful moment with this odd individual.

Filed Under: Cattle, Sanctuary Tagged With: animal personalities, animal rescue, animal rights, animal sanctuary, Animal Welfare, animals, cattle, cattler, chimpanzee sanctuary, Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, Cle Elum, cows, dairy cows, farm animals, jersey cattle, jersey cows, Sanctuary, seattle

(Banana for Scale)

February 28, 2021 by Anthony

Today’s blog is dedicated to our favorite fruit: bananas. Humans first domesticated these plants on the island archipelagos of Southeast Asia between 10,000 and 6,500 years ago. Ancient voyagers carried these remarkable berries with them around the globe, cementing their status as a staple crop for people living in tropical Africa, Asia, Oceania, and eventually the Americas.

Cavendish bananas are now the most popular cultivar worldwide despite actually being less than two-hundred years old. Bundles of these green bananas are shipped to regional warehouses where they are ripened in sealed rooms, resulting in the artificial yellow color that appeals to consumers in grocery stores. (Without the intermediate step, most Cavendish bananas will go from green to rotten without ever “ripening.”)

Besides simply cultivating and eating them, we humans have cemented a place for this fruit in pop culture. We refer to historically colonized nations as “Banana Republics,” laugh at people slipping on banana peels, and wear stupid banana costumes to parties. Spectacularly, people even began to include bananas in online images to provide the viewer with a sense of scale. (In fact, bananas may be a better unit of measurement than stoats.)

For a CSNW example, here’s an image of a Troll Doll (banana for scale):

Somehow, we also learned to associate bananas with our nonhuman ape and monkey relatives. (Thanks a lot, Donkey Kong!) As much as sanctuary caregivers may resent this overdone stereotype as we work hard to give the residents a wide variety of species-appropriate foods, even we cannot deny that chimpanzees really do love bananas. In fact, we almost always have them in stock as each chimp eats an average of one or two bananas each day. The reliance on bananas is normal for sanctuaries. At fellow NAPSA member sanctuary Chimp Haven, the enthusiasm with which each of their 300+ residents demands two bananas each morning has inspired a line of merchandise (and I have one of the mugs).

Note: The following meme depicts a young spider monkey, not a chimp, but it holds the same weight:

Fortunately for the sanctuary’s ten chimpanzee residents, we recently received an unexpected donation of bananas from the faith-based FISH Community Food Bank in nearby Ellensburg. Thanks, FISH!!!

The bananas were perfect– canary yellow with coffee-colored spots, firm but not starchy, and pungently sweet- and the generous people at the food bank gave us SEVEN CASES of these things to dole out to the chimps.

As Diana pointed out yesterday, the event was not quite a lagniappe, but it had a similar vibe. As a nonprofit organization, we rely on generosity and thoughtfulness to keep the sanctuary running. Every contribution matters. To make sure that we wouldn’t waste a donation like this, the staff got to work freezing peeled and blended bananas for use in future smoothies, dehydrating bananas to make chips for night bags, and washing bananas for immediate meal service. Processing new produce is one of my favorite weekly tasks, so this past week has been quite the thrill.

The chimps have not been complaining about receiving bananas more frequently. They demand their bananas first (because fruit is always the highest priority) then scarf them down with gusto. Lately, I’ve been trying to get a passable photo of any chimpanzee eating a donated banana to send to the team at the food bank, but the chimpanzees eat them too fast and I miss each narrow window of opportunity.

This pattern continued through today. During breakfast, I stood in front of the indoor enclosures and waited for the chimps to bring their bananas in from the Greenhouse (just as Jody did on Friday). They all inhaled their first course on the spot instead of taking it to go, so I squandered that chance by planning poorly. Then, at dinner, the bananas were almost entirely gone by the time I had carried out my other duties and arrived in the Greenhouse with a camera.

I did manage to salvage a few photos from breakfast, however. In particular, Jamie was overwhelmed by the amazing banana smoothie that the care team had prepared for both groups of chimps. She used her fingers to scrape every last bit of it from the plastic cup.

After breakfast, Jamie finally went into the indoor rooms and sat on a bench. I still had the camera hanging from my neck, so I asked her if I could take some portraits. She mostly ignored me (except for an occasional nod that I interpreted as “affirmative”), and kept looking over my shoulder. Her attention evidently went down the hall toward the kitchen. I turned to follow her gaze. Through that narrow doorway, we could both see straight through to the transparent refrigerator door where hundreds of bananas sat on brightly-lit shelves.

I doubt that Jamie knows the natural history of bananas or that the people at FISH supplied us with the ones she ate for breakfast, but it’s a safe bet that she’ll be expecting one on her breakfast tray tomorrow morning.

She’s in luck.

We have, like, a thousand of them.

P.S. If you’re interested in helping us to get fresh produce to the chimps every day, you should consider being a Produce Patron!

Filed Under: Food, Jamie, Thanks Tagged With: animal sanctuaries, animal sanctuary, chimp sanctuary, chimpanzees, chimps, csnw, donate, fish community food bank, fish ellensburg, food bank, food bank ellensburg, nonprofit, northwest, primate sanctuary, seattle

The Super Bowl Squad

February 7, 2021 by Anthony

It may not be the most important or most anticipated, but Super Bowl Sunday is perhaps the most uniquely American holiday of them all. Unhealthy snacks? Shameless advertising? A temporary distraction from the craziness of the past year? Sign. Me. Up.

Of course, such an event isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Given everything else that’s going on, even people who generally like sports are probably feeling a bit apathetic about this year’s championship game. It’s an understandable attitude.

If you’re not a football fan, this post may already be inducing some of the following thoughts:

They’re playing football right now? During a global pandemic? [Somehow, yes.]

God, I hope that Tom Brady guy isn’t in it again. [Yup, he is.]

Are the Seahawks in it? Were they good this season? [No; not really.]

Is football the one with the round ball or the egg-shaped ball? [It depends…]

Well, hopefully they still have the Puppy Bowl this year! [They do.]

And, no matter how invested you are in the National Football League, you’re surely thinking:

This blog entry has nothing to do with chimpanzees.

[Well, not yet… but it will. Bear with me.]

As much as I struggle to defend the commercialism and machismo of the NFL on an intellectual level, I actually love the Super Bowl. I don’t really buy into the tribalism of sports fandom, but I appreciate the talent, teamwork and strategy required to compete at the most elite level of such a complex sport.

One thing I love about American football, in particular, is the way players communicate with each other in order to successfully execute even the simplest of plays. When this process is repeated dozens of times, coordinating a sixty-minute football game begins to resemble conducting an entire symphony (all while an opposing orchestra simultaneously improvises a rival symphony in the same auditorium). Teams depend on complex playbooks, advanced technology, and continuous nonverbal communication to keep information flowing among personnel. Superstar athletes often draw the spotlight away from their peers, but the path to success is paved with consistency, cooperation and efficiency. Perhaps Billy Bob Thornton’s Coach Gaines said it best in Friday Night Lights when he preached “You need to find each other!” In short, whoever creates meaningful connections between themselves and their teammates has the best chance of winning the game and succeeding in life.

In some ways, chimpanzee groups remind me of sports teams.

Chiefly (heh heh), neither system could function if everyone constantly challenged each other for the top rank. Much like professional football players, chimpanzees tend to adopt roles in their community that align with their personalities, biological predispositions and learned skills.

In this way, chimp society is more appropriately imagined as a network than as a pecking order. Each individual is connected to all the others by series of interactions (and we human scientists invent a linear hierarchy by assigning directionality and arbitrary value to those events that seem most significant to us), so life’s not always about climbing up the social ladder.

In practice, being “high-ranking” actually comes with a suite of responsibilities, privileges and drawbacks, some of which “low-ranking” individuals may not have to deal with. One position is not uniformly better than the other; they’re just different niches with their own costs and benefits. Sure, it helps to have some established clout in a head-to-head competition, but those mano a mano stand-offs are more rare than you’d expect. To put it bluntly, I’d rather be a lowly citizen in a stable country than the ruler of a dumpster fire.

In football, it’s easier to follow a more natural path than it is to take a bunch of risks that won’t pay off. A 262-lb human isn’t going to run fast or jump ridiculously high (unless they’re Montez Sweat), so it’s better for them- and for the team- if they learn to block and tackle. While a football game might be win-or-lose, being a part of the team is a non-zero sum game. If they all put their egos aside and habitually do their jobs, they might just win a Super Bowl together.

Likewise, Annie probably won’t win too many fights against Negra, but she can get more food by hanging back and scooping up whatever vegetables The Queen leaves behind. Neggie can then relax knowing nobody is going to challenge her for a night bag. By unknowingly sorting themselves like teammates, the chimpanzee group maintains stability and individuals can get on with more important things (like playing chase and slapping troll dolls around) without the constant threat of conflict and dysfunction.

Given these parallel systems, you may be starting to wonder exactly how each chimp’s unique personality would factor into a football contest like the one being played today. Luckily, I decided to write a Buzzfeed-style post that explains exactly that in painstaking detail. Actually, it may be the longest blog post I’ve ever written, and that’s saying something. Hopefully you’re into sports metaphors and trivia (or can at least stomach them for about twenty minutes).

Seriously, though… you should top off your beverage, pop some popcorn and get comfy. There’s a lot to unpack here.

Without further ado, I present to you:

The Official Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest Super Bowl Squad™


Head Coach (HC) – Jamie

Jamie has all the makings of a legendary NFL Head Coach. She’s an imposing force, running the Chimp House like a tight ship and confronting those who fall out of line. Like some of the best minds in professional football (with whom she also shares some fashion sense), Jamie appreciates routine and structure. As the most dominant female chimp, she isn’t afraid to exert control over her surroundings using any materials at her disposal. I can imagine James holding a tablet on the sidelines, using analytics to choose a play and conveying her choice with some quick head nods and conspicuous foot stomps.

Surely, Jamie’s players would be disciplined, loyal to her system, and equipped with the best footwear in the league. She’s not always a tyrant, though, and her thorough coaching keeps us caregivers well-conditioned and entertained. With her mentality and demeanor, she’d probably thrive at the sanctuary’s helm and collect championship trophies as if they were Grab Bags.


Quarterback (QB) – Jody

As the sanctuary’s “den mother,” Jody has the leadership and “intangibles” to be a Hall-of-Fame quarterback. This position isn’t just about throwing and handing the ball to the other players; as the coaching staff’s lieutenant, the quarterback makes sure that the plans made on the sidelines are executed on the field. If there’s any doubt about her potential as a game-manager, the way Jody strategically dominates outdoor forages should put an end to it. Her keen awareness, caring nature and industrious efficiency would keep the offense moving towards the end-zone and put points on the scoreboard.

Quarterbacks, who are usually chosen to be captains, also mitigate issues among the players both on and off the field. This keeps the team operating cohesively and efficiently. For example, Kansas City’s Patrick Mahomes (who is starring in tonight’s game opposite Tampa Bay’s Tom Brady) publicly reassured a frustrated teammate last week, keeping the peace and motivating that player to perform better in subsequent plays. We frequently see “Farmer Jo” do the same for her peers by offering unambiguous gestures of emotional support in times of trouble. With skills like hers, Jody would cultivate some magical comradery and lead her team to victory.


Running Back (RB) – Foxie

Running backs have one primary objective: to carry the football “downfield” through the defense and toward the end-zone. This job requires an extraordinary combination of speed, agility and toughness, but the most critical responsibility is to hold onto the football at all costs. For these reasons, Foxie is the clear favorite to be this team’s superstar running back. Although tiny, her talents are electric. For one thing, Foxie’s unpredictable behavior would confuse, frazzle, and exhaust opposing defenses, and her acrobatic skills (1, 2, 3) would give her that “big-play ability” that Seattleites may be familiar with (even a decade later).

Crucially, Foxie has already demonstrated a talent for securely toting around her coveted dolls. Foxie’s carrying skills go way beyond those of her NFL counterparts; while they only hold the ball in their hands, she can balance the dolls on her shoulders, clutch them between her toes, clench them in her jaws, tuck them into her pelvic pocket, and even catch them behind her back. She’s actually quite cavalier about their safety at times, but it doesn’t really matter. Her rare ability to carry two dolls at once would yield double the touchdowns and likely skyrocket her to the top of the fantasy rankings. For these reasons and more, Foxie would indubitably be the sanctuary’s primetime halfback.


Wide Receiver (WR) – Annie

Annie would, like many NFL wide receivers, be a focal point of drama. Receivers are often the ones celebrating on television after reeling in pivotal touchdown passes, but this showmanship often comes with unnecessary juvenile behavior that attracts negative media attention. As a reactive and vocal chimpanzee, Annie has the potential to be one of these celebrity wideouts.

Annie-Bird’s not a natural leader and generally concedes to more dominant chimps in direct conflicts of interest. Despite this baseline insecurity, she has grown bolder and more confident over the years and still finds crafty ways to get what she values most. For example, Annie will express when she’s not happy and draw everyone’s attention to the source of her discomfort, then fade away from the turmoil she just incited with someone else’s forgotten carrot in hand. Like a wide receiver, so-called because they literally position themselves “out wide” near the sidelines, she’s happier at the fringes of the group. Still, Annie has the potential to make difficult plays look easy (like when she casually siphons smoothie from other chimps’ cups). Of course, Annie’s flamboyant apparel would also keep her in the tabloids and help her land lucrative corporate sponsorships.


Tight End (TE) – Willy B

Traditionally, tight ends are multitalented but not flashy; they block on most plays but can also be receivers, using their physicality to snag balls out of midair while surrounded by defenders. Although few NFL tight ends have achieved superstar status and household name recognition, tonight’s Super Bowl LV features two of the most famous TEs in history: Rob Gronkowski and Travis Kelce. These two playboys love the spotlight; Gronk may be the goofiest personality in the league and Kelce starred in a Bachelor-like reality game show called “Catching Kelce.” (Spoiler: They didn’t stay together after the series finale.) I’d like to add another member to this elite cohort of powerhouse tight ends, and his name is Willy B.

As the sanctuary’s newest bachelor, Willy has a uniquely charismatic and self-assured demeanor. He’s got the bravado and skills to rival those of the NFL’s best pass-catchers, and he knows how to use his social rank to his advantage. Despite his potential to lead, Willy often shirks the spotlight in favor of simple pleasures like watching TV, snacking on food, and swaggering outside to watch the neighbors. His reputation may be bolstered by his relatively large frame and amplified by the adoration he receives from the neighboring chimps, but the former resident of the Wildlife Waystation also seems to gain confidence as he acclimatizes to his sanctuary home. The Willy B I know would now have the guts to run into the end-zone and leap high to catch a football as if it were an apple placed far above the ground.


Offensive Line (OL) – Mave

I have a fondness for offensive linemen (centers, guards and tackles) because I briefly played left guard for my mediocre high school team. I truly think that Mave is better suited to handle the duties of the position than I was, which is why she’d be the perfect keystone to build the sanctuary’s offensive line around. Linemen are exclusively blockers, meaning they protect and create space for their teammates. Far from being typical jocks, linemen need to be reliable and smart so that they can dominate the trenches on any given play. Unsurprisingly, they have the highest average scores on the NFL’s preferred cognitive abilities test. In this regard, Mave is the perfect offensive lineman: humble, adaptable, and protective.

This pick is obvious to anyone who watches Mave cohabitate with her companions. As a gregarious but low-ranking individual, Mave is unassuming and kind to the other chimps. That doesn’t stop her from being a forceful peacekeeper. You could say that Mave, like any good lineman, isn’t afraid to throw her weight around (whether she’s making new friends, expressing emotion, or rough-housing). In fact, Mave is such a prolific wrestler that, when the ball is fumbled and all the linemen simultaneously pile on top, she’d come up with the football every time. Plus, instead of scoring touchdowns, the ultimate achievement for an offensive lineman is unofficially known as a “pancake block.” I love the idea of Mave leading the league in pancakes.


Defensive Line (DL) – Betsy, Honey, Meredith and Nutmeg

Football defenses are usually arranged into three distinct layers, the foremost of which is the defensive line. These defenders confront the offense up front, pressuring the opposing quarterback and swarming whoever is holding the football. Linemen may be known for size and brute strength, but the best are also clever and deceptively agile. The most famous defensive line in NFL history was that of the 1975 Minnesota Vikings (a.k.a. the Purple People Eaters), but I can’t think of a more formidable defensive unit than CSNW’s four largest residents: the cattle.

Betsy, Honey, Meredith and Nutmeg (or, as I call them, The Moo Crew) have all the qualities of fearsome defensive linemen. For one thing, they literally defend the sanctuary against wildfires by mowing the grass and trimming the weeds. These Jerseys seem slow and gentle, but they can run surprisingly fast and be shockingly fierce. Nutmeg is the bulkiest of the four, but Honey is the brazen leader and doesn’t tolerate any nonsense. The herd moves in a cohesive formation and their impenetrable wall of bovine muscle can be difficult to get past when their barn needs to be mucked. Whenever they detect a bale of hay being delivered, they lock onto it like four homing missiles and devour it like a wolf pack that just made a kill. That kind of focus and ferocity should have NFL scouts calling the sanctuary’s office and inviting these bovines to their next training camp.


Defensive Linebacker (LB) – Missy

Linebackers are some of the most versatile players because they have to get around linemen, tackle running backs and cover receivers. They also tend to be defensive leaders, calling out adjustments as the offense lines up in formation across from them. Once the play begins, they’re the first responders whose quick reactions often break up the opponent’s plan, and they’re often the ones to make the most tackles. If you have any questions about what qualities allow someone to excel in this role, just listen to unanimous praise for retired linebacker Luke Kuechly. The best of those players, like Kuechly, are known for being involved in lots of plays; this is why Missy would be the sanctuary’s defensive captain and starting middle linebacker.

Missy never shies away from a conflict; instead, she rushes in and supports her friends, saving the chit-chat for later. She’s always in high-gear, zipping around Young’s Hill from fence to fence just like a linebacker covering the whole field from sideline to sideline. Even her stout, compact frame is perfect for her role as the group’s enforcer. I once saw her stifle an altercation in the Playroom by charging in and tackling the first chimp she saw, distracting everyone long enough for them to calm down. She sometimes reminds me of one of the best Super Bowl commercials of all time: a 2003 Reebok ad featuring the NFL’s Terry Tate in the fictional role of “Office Linebacker.” Missy, like Tate, ensures that nobody gets away with any shenanigans (and that there are tomatoes on every serving tray).


Defensive Back (DB) – Burrito

Behind the linemen and linebackers, the defensive backs (i.e. safeties and cornerbacks) are the last players standing between the offense and the goal line. For this job, size is not as valuable as swiftness and timing. Elite defensive backs can cover the fastest receivers and chase down the most explosive running backs in the open field, occasionally even intercepting the quarterback’s passes. From the perspective of viewers at home, defensive backs often seem to come into the frame just in time to break up what would otherwise be offensive touchdowns. For these reasons, I am sure that the sanctuary’s star defensive back would be Burrito Chimpanzee.

When it comes to roaming around and then suddenly being right in your face, Bubba’s the guy for the job. He isn’t as large as Willy B, the other male chimp at the sanctuary, but Burrito has actually developed more agility, courage and endurance over the last year or so. Despite being 38 years old, his vigor for life is unparalleled. It is common for caregivers to be passing by the chimpanzee enclosures with some other task in mind and suddenly be confronted by an impatient Burrito demanding to play chase and tickle games. Honestly, NFL defensive coordinators should be studying his behavior in order to develop new coverage schemes because he constantly pops up wherever you look and forces you to modify your plans. If you have any doubt that a relatively small player can have a huge impact on a Super Bowl game, you can look to history– or just look at Burrito.


Special Teams (ST) – Honey B

Special teams is an inclusive term referring to the diverse “packages” of personnel who take the field on kickoffs, punts and field goal attempts. Although offensive and defensive stars rarely play on special teams, these situations can lead to odd and memorable plays: people making tackles without helmets, scoring touchdowns of 100+ yards, and even attempting daring trick plays. If you’re looking for someone to pump up the crowd by doing something crazy when everyone least expects it, perhaps Honey B is the special teams player for you.

Honey B can do any task with ease, including cleaning up, throwing objects, building forts, and even skateboarding. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could also learn to kick field goals, catch punts, and snap a football between her legs; she’s just that talented. Honey’s also a bit of an oddball, often seen apart from the other chimps rather than traveling as part of the gang. Kickers and punters have a similar reputation for independence in NFL locker rooms. Although these special teamers rarely become celebrities or team leaders, they can secure a place in everyone’s hearts by pulling off improbable stunts on national television. One case is that of Pat McAfee, a former NFL punter who became famous for executing strange feats with almost supernatural luck. McAfee’s most famous achievement may be his recovery of a ball that he kicked to himself, something that is almost impossible to successfully do. In my mind, the sanctuary’s equivalent moment was when Honey B won back a chow bag that Willy had just stolen from her, going against the social order and leaving us caregivers stunned. Kelsi summarized our reaction best in that day’s blog: “Don’t mess with Honey B.”


Everyone Watching From Home Just For the Half-Time Show (EWFHJ4THTS) – Negra

With all this being said, the truth about the NFL is that most participants are actually just viewers who half-heartedly consume the uninspired content that the league broadcasts around the world each weekend. For every player on the field, there are millions of fans watching from the comfort of their living rooms, wearing Snuggies, stacking Pringles, and scrolling through our social media feeds during commercial breaks. In this sense, Negra is by far the most relatable of all the chimpanzees.

Despite the hype and fanfare around the event, most of us are going to spend Super Bowl Sunday curled up in a fleece blanket, picking at snack foods and trying not to think about going to work tomorrow. Many people who ordinarily go out for this event are hopefully staying in this year, while others would rather just have a quiet night at home regardless. That’s how our Queen Negra chooses to spend every evening and it’s quite relatable. Sure, she might be the type to tune into the Half-Time Show so that she could text her friends about it afterward… but that would be the furthest extent of it. Negra doesn’t even get out of bed until she knows there are peanuts on the breakfast menu, and she won’t go outside for anything less than homegrown delicacies or prized pineapple tops, so I wouldn’t expect her to get nervous about a silly football game. Whenever you shut off the television and crawl into bed tonight, you can rest assured that Neggie went to bed way earlier than you did.


Whether you decide to watch tonight’s game or not, please be responsible and safe. For the sake of our at-risk loved ones and the health care professionals who are currently fighting this pandemic, don’t let Super Bowl parties become the next Super-Spreader events!

Just stay home!

Filed Under: Chimpanzee Behavior, Events, Sanctuary Tagged With: animal sanctuary, chimp, chimpanzee, chimps, csnw, northwest, primate, primate sanctuary, Primates, Sanctuary, seattle

Holiday Games

December 27, 2020 by Anthony

This period between Christmas and New Year’s Day is always a bit odd.

Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, the days between the solstice and end of the year must still have a unique feeling. For one thing, unless you work in the health or service industries, you’re probably spending most or all of this time on vacation. Maybe you’re using the holidays as an opportunity to chip away at your reading list, reach out to friends and family, or partake in winter sports. Perhaps you’re sleeping in, binge-watching crime documentaries, or cuddling with your nonhuman companions.

Regardless of your interests, you’re likely reflecting on the events of the past twelve months and recharging your emotional batteries for the challenges of another year. After the rollercoaster ride that 2020 just gave us, it seems more important than ever that we all take a deep breath, recite our personal mantras, and engage in the activities that bring us fulfillment.

One thing that I’ve been doing during this week-between-the-holidays is playing a wide variety of games with my friends and family. The ongoing pandemic makes meeting up with loved ones more difficult for all of us, but we still find ways to compete virtually because we think it’s important. For humans and other creatures, play challenges cognitive abilities and yields valuable insight about the world and how it works. When done socially, it can reaffirm social relationships and hone crucial skills like empathy, adaptability, and resilience. Of course, I don’t usually think about these benefits while I’m getting torched in a game of Cribbage (unlike some cool scientists who actually research the adaptive value of play behavior), but I still appreciate the opportunity to engage with others in lighthearted competition.

Lately, my playlist has included card games like Rummy and Cribbage, online multiplayer games like Among Us, and turn-based board games like Settlers of Catan. (By the way, does anyone have ore or wheat to trade? I’ve got a ton of sheep.) My friends and I have also carried on with our fantasy football league, giving us each a small stake in the weekend contests.

On top of all that, I am greeted by ten playful chimps upon arriving at the sanctuary each morning. The chimps and staff jointly create arbitrary rituals that, over time, become woven into the fabric of our relationships. The games that the chimps play, like ours, have understood rules and require a certain amount of trust. When Jamie nods, we start walking. When we rev up the Gator, Missy starts running. When Burrito stomps and pivots, we stomp and pivot.

When I see the chimps creating these odd rituals, it reminds me of the contests that we conceive among ourselves. Therefore, today, I’m giving you all a new game to play. It’s similar to ones that we have hosted in the past (Saw references and all).

Today’s version challenges you to guess which one of the sanctuary’s four rescued cattle is pictured in each of the following images. Each member of the Moo Crew is included at least twice. I’ll post the answers in a separate comment tomorrow evening. “Let the games begin!”

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.

Hint: One pair of related cattle shares a similar hair-do. The other related pair does not!

Bonus points!

Good luck, everybody!

 

 

Filed Under: Caregivers, Cattle, Sanctuary Tagged With: animal rights, animal sanctuary, Animal Welfare, cattle, chimp, chimpanzee, chimpanzee retirement, chimpanzee sanctuary, Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, chimpanzees, chimps, cows, northwest, Primates, Sanctuary, seattle

The Forest for the Trees

December 23, 2020 by Anthony

It’s been a busy week at the sanctuary, but that’s not stopping us from feeling a little bit of holiday cheer.

For the most part, the holidays don’t interrupt our operations. First and foremost, the chimps need the same amount of specialized care that they always do. Additionally, the ongoing construction of new chimpanzee areas will continue right up to Christmas and is set to resume immediately after. Since the electrical work that Anna mentioned last week is still in progress, the seven chimps living on that side of the building have been somewhat inconvenienced. For the past few days, they have had to hang out in the heated Greenhouse and cozy front rooms while the larger playroom is unavailable.

That hasn’t seemed to bother them too much, though. They have ample enrichment puzzles, nesting materials, views of the contractors, human caregivers to socialize with, and each other’s company.

Burrito
Burrito (and the Holiday Tree!)

Jamie seems to enjoy watching the electricians. Although she can’t see their faces because of their masks, Jamie nodded approvingly at their footwear today. The guys seemed proud when I told them The Boss was pleased.

Jamie

Fortunately, the first days of winter have been relatively warm and consistently clear, so the chimps have also felt comfortable making frequent excursions outdoors. The amazing weather convinced us to spread forages on Young’s Hill both Saturday and Sunday, but they seem to be motivated by other factors in the days since. Maybe they want to survey the land and spy on the neighbors, or perhaps they’re just looking for some recreation. Either way, it’s nice to see them using the large outdoor enclosure this late in the year. I took the following photos during Sunday’s special activities and today’s regular patrols.

Jamie (front) and Burrito (back)
Annie
Foxie
Foxie
Foxie
Annie
Missy
Jody
Jamie
Negra

Foxie, in particular, seems to value her time outdoors. Based on her tendency to wander off from the others, I’d guess that she enjoys the brief periods of solitude.

Foxie on “The Escher” structure
Foxie atop “Neggie’s Cabin”

Of course, she may just be taking in those sweet views of the surrounding pastures, forests, and snow-covered mountains.

Foxie

Filed Under: Construction, Foxie, Weather, Young's Hill Tagged With: animal rights, Animal Welfare, chimp, chimp enrichment, chimp sanctuary, chimpanzee, chimpanzee retirement, chimpanzee sanctuary, chimpanzees, chimps, Cle Elum, Cle Elum Seven, csnw, northwest, Sanctuary, seattle, young's hill

Terroir

November 15, 2020 by Anthony

As I drove through the canyon on my way to the sanctuary this morning, I thought of a passage from science-fiction author Jeff VanderMeer.
Natural places are no different than human cities. The old exists next to the new. Invasive species integrate with or push out native species. The landscape you see around you is the same as seeing an old cathedral next to a skyscraper.

VanderMeer’s work, perhaps best described as ecological horror, explores how humans perceive and withstand environmental changes. Watching their surroundings undergo both subtle and dramatic transitions, no matter how neutral they are at their core, alters the emotional fibers of his characters.

Driving up the sanctuary’s driveway, I could see that the contractors had just finished covering the new wing of the chimpanzee building, which is hopefully just a few months away from completion. I reminded myself that I was an intern here just a couple years ago. Now everything looks a bit different. We have a new driveway, new barn, new structures, and new wing of enclosures. There are new residents (both bovine and chimp), new staff, and new protocols. It’s hard to believe that sanctuary itself hasn’t even existed for two decades yet because it hasn’t stopped evolving.

The land where the Chimp House sits was once an uninteresting pasture, but there were saloons and homesteads all along our stretch of highway. The nearby towns were base camps for coal miners and pioneers, and the surrounding forests have been sculpted by the flames of many wildfires and saws of many loggers. If you go back far enough, the Yakima and Snoqualmie people served as stewards of these lands for thousands of years. On a grander scale, massive herds of prehistoric bison and elk grazed the icy tundra that existed before humans arrived on the scene. Now, in a plot twist that would be just as confusing to the coal miners as it would to the prehistoric bison, ten retired chimpanzees call this place their sanctuary home.

What has not changed, in my lifetime at least, is the terroir of this place. For those of you who share my apathy for wine, terroir is a French word used to describe the suite of environmental and agricultural factors contributing to a wine’s quality. Importantly, though, terroir is not something that can be measured. It’s not just a composite of rainfall, or soil, or topography. It is an amalgamation of all these things into one noticeable character, and it can only be sufficiently experienced via taste.

One of the ecologists in VanderMeer’s novels uses the concept when describing a mysterious landscape, the feeling of which he cannot sufficiently explain using scientific language alone. It resonated with me when I first read it because it makes so much sense. I thought of all the places I’ve been lucky enough to live and work in, including this sanctuary, and recalled the unmistakable terroir of each. I wish the followers and donors, many of whom have never even visited this part of the country, could all come to this place and (without disturbing the residents) experience it for themselves. There’s nothing quite like walking around a dew-covered Young’s Hill in the morning and hearing a chorus of anticipatory pant-hoots rise up from the Chimp House, and words don’t do that experience any justice.

I know that having you all visit wouldn’t be possible, even in the absence of a global pandemic, so I hope you will all be content to view some photos that I’ve recently taken of this beautiful place as it continues to evolve into something else.

 

Filed Under: Construction, Sanctuary, Weather, Wildlife, Young's Hill Tagged With: animal rescue, Animal Welfare, chimp sanctuary, chimpanzee, chimpanzee retirement, chimpanzee sanctuary, Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, chimpanzees, Primates, Sanctuary, seattle

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