Jody

A Dear Friend

February 8, 2024 by Grace

Today has been one of those days where, while prepping lunch for Jamie’s group, I accidentally counted seven portions instead of six. And, earlier this week, I counted out chow bags for seven before I caught myself and had to remove the portion I had accidentally made for Jody. Little things like this happen almost every week since last May, but sometimes they’re more frequent.

When I sat down a little bit ago to start writing my blog, I didn’t expect to start writing about this. Even though it’s mid-February and still winter here in Cle Elum, WA, the sun has been out all day and the temperature currently sits at 43 degrees. There is a bit of wind to remind us that it is still winter, but the chimps have been taking full advantage of the sunshine. We were able to do a lunch forage for Cy’s group today on the Bray and Terry, Rayne, and Gordo went right out to enjoy it. Honey B is still healing from her recent procedure and is recovering well. Jamie’s group has been mostly lounging in the warm greenhouse, where they can be in the sun and out of the wind. All that to say, it’s been a really lovely day.

I’m no expert on grief- I don’t know how best to work through it or why it commands our attention on certain days over others. Maybe she’s been more on my mind lately because we’re creeping up on the one year anniversary of her passing, or perhaps it’s the stress from worrying about Honey B during her recovery. All I know is that, sometimes, grief isn’t content to stay hidden in our subconscious.

On April 27th, I wrote a blog about the quintessential spring day- foraging, perfect weather, Negra yelling at crows to get away from her forage, etc. I didn’t know that it would be my last blog featuring Jody, without also featuring the deep grief of missing her. She was a dear friend and we miss her every day.

The loss of a friend like Jody runs deep. I wonder if the fact that today feels like an early spring gift after the dark of winter is what brings up the absence of her presence. My mind says that she should be grooming in the greenhouse, walking on the hill, and enjoying the warm sunshine with her family.

At first I thought I would delete all that, because it feels quite somber. But, grief thrives in isolation- does it not?

Plus, I think it would be a disservice to Jody to not write of her, despite the vulnerable nature of grieving, both when we are sad from missing her or when we are happy and reliving the 15 years that she had with us here in sanctuary.

I’m a firm believer that it’s our responsibility to not only care for the individuals that call CSNW home, but to advocate for them and share their stories as far as we can. Jody was a remarkable person and the world is better off for knowing her and her story.

So, maybe, as we approach the first anniversary of her passing, it would be nice to share in some comfort & community. Share your favorite Jody stories in the comments below and let’s remember her, together.

Photos from today’s February-Spring-Day:

Annie, Missy, & Jamie looking out to Young’s Hill this morning after I gave them access:

Negra and Burrito, sharing a barrel during breakfast:

Gordo, enjoying the sunshine in the greenhouse:

Rayne, being absolutely perfect:

Terry during today’s lunch forage, running back with a mouth full of grapefruit:

Unexpected Commonalities in Grief

August 24, 2023 by Kelsi

I thought I would share a moment from yesterday morning, before Missy’s birthday festivities began, that is a testament to how human grief looks so similar to non-human grief. In attempt for you to better understand the sentimental meaning behind the moment I witnessed, I will first share something personal that has happened to my family in the past week. I want to preface that I don’t want this blog to be about me, but I want to provide context for the relatability in the moment that I witnessed.

A week ago today, I had an emergency with my dog Oliver. My husband, Adam, and I had to make a lot of hard decisions regarding Oliver’s life, which at one point we thought we were in the clear, but sadly in the end, we had to make a choice that felt impossible to make. We chose to say goodbye. Oliver had been with me since I was 23. He had been with our family for almost 9 years. The word “dog” underestimates just how special and important Oliver was in my life. Oliver followed me to Canada. He traveled everywhere with me, I was never alone when I was with him. Oliver came into my life at a time when I was silently in my deepest grief after losing my father. Oliver gave me purpose and he gave me a reason to move forward. How do you grieve when the individual who carried you through everything else, isn’t there to get you through this one?

Tuesday was my first day back at work and all the chimps were so nice, I mean they always are :). But it felt different, more gentle. However, a moment that sticks out was with my friend, Missy. Missy is an individual who loves her people. It’s hard to know where humans stand in that, because well, she doesn’t need us, she has her people. On occasion, Missy will ask me to play. And that occasion happened to be on Tuesday. Maybe it was a coincidence, or maybe she knew I needed a distraction, but I will never know the answer to that. Missy and I spent a long while playing lazy tug-of-war, knuckle rubbing her back, and playing a short game of chase. She made my sad heart feel a little bit of warmth.

Yesterday (Wednesday), I was carrying grief on my shoulders, I could feel the physical weight of losing Oliver. At one point in the morning, I came back inside near the front rooms after having give Foxie her dolls in the Green House. Jamie started to breathy pant at me and got very excited to touch my boots (a pair of boots that do not necessarily wow her anymore). She playfully laid on her back and flailed her arms and legs around, laughing the whole time. She would bend over, stick her butt in the air and start laughing harder. Eventually, she asked me to put her favorite pair of Doc Martins on and go on a walk around Young’s Hill with her. I quickly apologized to Chad for leaving him alone to deep clean the Playroom, and I took off to join Jamie. Nothing could prepare me for the walk we took. It felt like a walk with individuals who were grieving – it’s hard to explain. Initially, things were normal. Jamie had requested I drive the Sidekick with her boots around the Hill. Missy joined us, so it ended up being Jamie, Missy, and I going for a walk. We started up the steepest part of the Hill, but less than halfway through, Missy peeled off to the right and Jamie paused. I was trying to take a video of Foxie carrying her dolls on her back when I noticed what everyone was doing… gathering. It looked like Burrito, Foxie, Annie, Missy, and even Jamie (from a far) took a moment to themselves to pay their respects to Jody around her burial site. I understand that this is my interpretation and that we may never actually know what they were thinking or doing in that moment. However, all these grieving people were in one place. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful moment and it struck me. Later, after everyone started going further up the Hill, Foxie hung back to climb up “The Twister”, which used to be something Jody would do with her, while always giving her encouragement and the courage to climb higher. But today, Foxie climbed it “alone”, but maybe someone was nearby giving her that same encouragement she had before. Foxie only went up a little more before she ultimately climbed down and joined everyone else at the top on the Hill.

Personally, this year has been a hard one, losing both Jody and my Oliver. Grief is a funny thing. It’s never completely gone and you never know when it is going to decided to show up and smack you in the face. There are good days and years, but also waves of sadness that makes things feel like they are crashing down. The date, May 1st, is always hard for me and this year marked 9 years since the passing of my dad. Some years have gone by and I have noticed his presence missing but have been able to keep moving on, while other years, like this year in particular, I feel like I lost him all over again. I know that in my own grief with losing Jody, I often will think about her during forages for the chimps or when I’m ordering produce thinking, “Oh, Jody will love this!”, only to feel a pain in my heart realizing she is no longer here. On party days, I think about how she used to walk bipedally down the Hill with an arm-load of leafy greens! Jody had been with her group members for most of their lives so it’s normal for their to be a continued absence. Though the chimps are doing quite well and have gone back into a routine since Jody’s passing, I think it wouldn’t be far-fetched to think that the chimps do have the same stages of grief that we do. I am sure that they too have good days and others where there is a hole that only Jody could fill.

Thank you for letting me share this story.

Just a bonus photo of Foxie with a doll on her back:

And for my Oliver, who I will forever be thankful for and will always stay in my heart. I miss you. I love you so much.

Celebrating Jody on her Birthday

May 14, 2023 by Diana

Today, Mother’s Day, is when we celebrate Jody’s birthday. Though she is no longer physically with us, we held a celebration in her honor for all of the other chimpanzees, and they thoroughly enjoyed the watermelon bowl themed party (photos to follow).

As I was taking photos of Jody’s group during their watermelon bowl forage, I noticed that Missy had gone to the spot where we planted lilac bushes and trees. The spot where Jody is now buried.

It’s very probably that Missy was checking the area to see if she missed some food, but I like to think she was also saying happy birthday to her friend:

Thank you to everyone who have sponsored days and made donations in Jody’s honor and who have sent us amazing heartfelt cards and messages of condolence. I love hearing how people were touched by her life and her death.

Today, we made some changes to Jody’s page on our website to include a donation link to give specifically in memory of Jody for those who wish to do so.

If you scroll to the bottom of Jody’s page, you can see that it is open for comments, so please do feel free to leave a message their about Jody or in her memory. We really appreciate how many people are grieving for her.

Now for those watermelon bowl photos…

Annie:

Foxie:

Jamie:

Burrito:

Dora:

The bovines also had a great day! They were released onto the upper pasture for spring grazing!

in memory of Jody Chimpanzee on her birthday

May 14, 2023 by Diana

Tobin sponsored today in honor of Jody’s birthday celebration prior to us losing Jody just two weeks ago. Ever thoughtful, Tobin sent in a new message to share on this celebratory but also somber day,

Dear Friends of our beloved Jody:

As was the tradition at the CSNW, Jody’s birthday was celebrated every year on Mother’s Day. Those of us who loved her and rejoiced in her very being will continue to do so, in our hearts, minds, and souls. As we grieve, let us remember the look of joy on her beautifully expressive face, whether ascending the towers on Young’s Hill or in foraging the bounty of her land. Let us remember her maternal devotion to Negra, Annie, Missy, Foxie, Jamie, and Burrito. Taken from her mother in infancy, and deprived of nurturing the children she conceived, Jody became the den mother to her troop of orphans.

In my original statement for Jody’s birthday, I had written an open letter addressed to her. I told her that I hoped that the lilacs would be in bloom for her birthday, and I told her that I was so pleased when, somehow, she would appear in my dreams.

As I have read the many messages in the comments section of the Sanctuary website, I have been moved by the many words of condolence to Jody’s survivors and caregivers. One message especially holds meaning to me: “May her memory be blessed.”

Surely our memories of Jody are blessed, as we who love her were blessed by her presence in our lives.

And when I read of that Hebrew blessing, I thought of Jody and the words of a poem, also written in Hebrew:

For Thou, the Giver of Life,
created me in my inmost being;
Thou created me together
in my mother’s womb

Where can I go from Thy Spirit?

Our beloved Jody, your memory is blessed.

– Tobin Kerry –

Jody’s Family Legacy

May 13, 2023 by Sabrina

Since I started working at CSNW in February I, unfortunately, did not get a chance to know Jody very well. I did get put through some hazing by her when I first was learning to serve meals to the group, she would occasionally try to poke me or she would have to spit some of her smoothie on me if I put too much in her mouth at one time. I always found her reprimands to be very gentle in contrast to another chimp I worked with in the past, Jody’s son Levi!

Like Jody, and a lot of chimps when they first arrive to sanctuary, when Levi arrived he was a little more rough around the edges. It was tough to even get a good look at him in person because he was well known for his penchant for throwing feces and he has impeccable aim. When I began working with him, a few years after he first arrived, I discovered how much Levi really loves to play chase and tickle with people and I convinced a coworker who worked with him in his early days at the sanctuary, to come along. When we arrived at Levi’s play yard he immediately came out to greet us and my coworker said to me “that’s him?” because she had never really been able to sit with him or have any positive interaction with him but now they have a relationship with a lot of positive interaction.

In the last couple weeks I have heard so many stories about Jody and how she used to haze people and would spit relentlessly on her caregivers but that she really came to accept and trust the people who cared for her. This really speaks to the difference sanctuary makes in the lives of the chimpanzees we care for and the capacity they really have to forgive humans for the things they’ve experienced in the past.

While Jody is no longer here with us physically anymore, she will never be truly gone. She lives on through her chimp family at CSNW, in our memories of her and in stories shared by those who knew and love her. But she also lives on in her children, like Levi, who not only carrys on her genes but remind us of her quirks and personality, and like Jody are getting to live out their lives in their chimp families in sanctuary.

Laying to Rest

May 12, 2023 by Jenna

This weekend, we will lay Jody to rest at the sanctuary, her home for the last fifteen years. Now, she will forever be with her chimpanzee family (Annie, Burrito, Foxie, Jamie, Missy, and Negra). It brings us humans great comfort to know she will be physically here with us, even though she is gone. If you missed J.B.’s blog post about Jody’s departure, I will link it here.

The memory of Jody is everywhere.

When I pass by Front Rooms 2 and 3, I am reminded of her naps in those rooms. Sometimes, she would graciously get up and gather her blankets, as she knew we were hoping to clean the front rooms next. When I serve cherry tomatoes to her group, I am reminded of how Jody popped each one with her front teeth and then ate it. Sometimes, the juice would squirt in various directions and it made me laugh every time. When I look at Young’s Hill, I am reminded of seeing her foraging with her group, collecting all types of foods. She would do this certain walk that only Jody could do, when she was exceptionally proud of herself. When I look at lilacs, I see Jody. Since Jody has been gone, I’ve noticed myself taking in my surroundings more, looking for the beauty in things around me. I know that may sound bizarre that it took Jody’s death to make me do this, but when I see something extra beautiful, like a beautiful tree in full bloom, I think to myself, “Jody would love that”.

Today, some beautiful edible flowers that Kelsi ordered arrived and we knew we had to spread them out for Jody’s family. Nobody loved flowers as much as Jody. We spread out the flowers in the Greenhouse, as well as filled the pools with diluted Gatorade and floating orchids.