Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest

Hope. Love. Home. Sanctuary

grief

Remembering and Cherishing Friends

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If you missed Grace’s blog yesterday, you should go read it. It was a beautiful tribute to Jody and how her memory lives on here, through everyone who knew and loved her and continues to share her story. It was also about processing the grief of losing a dear friend. While I never had the honor of meeting Jody, I was fortunate enough to work with and build a friendship with her son, Levi, as well as many other chimpanzees prior to starting my journey here.

Levi

Close up of Levi

Unfortunately, I too have experienced the loss of chimpanzee friends that I have known and loved that have passed away over the years. Some of my friends were very old, having lived long lives since being taken from the wild as infants, but still carrying with them the knowledge their wild families no doubt imparted to them even at such a young age. Lessons like how to climb a tree. Other of my friends did not seem nearly old enough for their time to be up, but yet it was. Despite our best efforts and all the love in the world, time was up. While each of these losses caused immeasurable pain and heartache, I keep coming back, knowing my heart would again break when another friend passes away. Because the heartache and pain and loss is what comes from such a great love. There is nothing more wonderful than seeing chimpanzees thrive in sanctuary. We get to make their lives the best that they can be, and continually strive to improve them. We get to be their friends, their caregivers, to see them get excited to see us when we come back from our weekend or just back to work the next day. We are there with them and for them on the best of days, and on the worst.

One thing I have learned from the losses I have experienced is to always make time to spend with your friends while you can. You don’t want to have regrets for not making time to play a quick game of chase with someone, or being too busy to stop to say hello on your way to your next task. Sanctuary life is busy and there are always more tasks to be done, but make time for your friends too. Because the time is always up too quickly.

Pictured is Juan, a wonderful friend to all he met. Read more about him here.

I am extremely grateful to be a part of this community and to get to share stories with you all every day. I worry sometimes that my old friends will be forgotten one day, that there won’t be anyone left to share stories of them or remember how quirky their greetings were or that they had the best laugh. But we have each other, to share stories and memories and in doing so share the joy and love of our friends, as well as our grief that they are no longer with us. Through each of us, their memory lives on.

Difficult News about Jody

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I’m so sorry to share that Jody passed away last night (see yesterday’s blog post). Physically, she was surrounded by people – in human and chimpanzee form – who loved her deeply. In an even more profound way, she was surrounded by the love from all of you who were thinking of her.

These circumstances of her passing were in stark contrast to the decades she spent as a biomedical research subject, which we outline on her biography page.

It has been such an honor and privilege to have been able to share the last almost fifteen years of Jody’s life through the lens of hope, love, and home at Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest. We made this video about Jody six years ago, and I have watched it multiple times since last night.

Jody was an incredible friend and, in many ways, the center of her social group. After she passed, we were able to give her chimpanzee family the opportunity to be with her body. I imagine that we will be sharing more about this later, as it was beautiful to witness them, in their own ways, say goodbye.

A friend, Thyra Rutter (Arte for Elephants), who I became connected to when she reached out a few years ago about donating her drawing of Jody below, recently recommended Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, No Death, No Fear, which I bought immediately after seeing her post about the book. There are so many lessons within his writing to contemplate.

One is the notion, the reality, of impermanence. He writes, “Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible. Life itself is possible.” He explains the concept of inter-being: because everything is connected, all things are constantly influencing each other and therefore are not separate.

This idea is what I keep thinking about this morning. We will not see Jody in the chimp house today or any day following today. That is the painfully difficult part of grieving. But Jody is not gone. She is within everyone who has known her. Because of this blog, she is present in people far away who have never met her, and people who perhaps today are just meeting her for the first time by reading this. We will greatly miss her physical presence, and we will continue to work to make Jody and all of the chimpanzees at the sanctuary live on. Their existence and their stories are important. Thank you for being a part of her life.

Full Hearts

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Getting to know the new Lucky Six chimpanzees is an incredible experience. In some ways, it seems like they’ve been here much longer than one week. But it’s true that we barely know them. So each new observation, every moment spent with them, fills our hearts.

The thing is, it’s still the same with all of the other non-humans in our care. They are all such interesting and unique beings; we can never know everything there is to know about them, and we still delight in the little moments.

I’ve been reflecting on little moments lately because our dog Wilson, who I’ve written about on the blog before, passed away this week. He had numerous medical issues over the years, and far outlived anyone expectations. His end was sudden, but not surprising, and J.B. and I were both with him. Though his body, specifically his heart, was failing him, it never slowed him down or changed the goofy, lovable, big-headed, empathetic dog that he was. Our hearts are broken, but that’s because they were filled with so much love.

We’re surrounded by life at the sanctuary. Grief is a strange bargain we make, but it’s worth it to feel so much love.

 

Dora Chimpanzee
Dora watching herself eat dinner
The one and only Jamie. She tied this scarf on with purpose and wore it all afternoon.

 

Jody

 

Wilson