It’s been six months or so that Cy’s group has had access to The Bray, their two-acre outdoor enclosure, and in that time we’ve seen some pretty big wins for that group. Whether it be Lucky deciding to be brave and head out for the first time, Willy B deciding that the grass might not actually be so bad, or Cy making it all the way to the top of the enclosure- I think I can confidently say that it’s been a point of compassion satisfaction for all of us here.
We’re pretty transparent in this daily blog, which means that we’re also pretty vulnerable. We have the responsibility and opportunity to connect with you to share the stories of the chimps in our care, which means that we can celebrate wins like the above together, but also that we mourn the losses that come with sanctuary life together, too. This year has been a lot of both and you’ve seen us write about sensitive topics like compassion fatigue and grief.
Some days, for me, it all comes together and it’s not solely compassion fatigue or compassion satisfaction. Some days it feels like both.
This afternoon I was walking (read: meandering aimlessly) around the chimp house hoping for a blog idea to come to me. After walking back and forth a few times, I finally went out to the chute to see if anyone in Cy’s group was enjoying the afternoon sun despite the chill in the air. Terry, who had been relaxing in the warm winterized greenhouses, came with me and went out onto the Bray. I went walking with him and turned around to see that Lucky, Rayne, and Cy had joined us too. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, the birds were chirping- and there we were, experiencing it together.
One of the foundations of our work here is ensuring that the chimps have as much choice as possible in their day to day lives, whenever we can. Whether that’s respecting someone’s choice to not shift out of a certain enclosure, accepting if someone doesn’t want to hang out with us humans, or giving them a variety of enrichment that they can choose to interact with (or not), we do what we can when we can. The caveat is that, due to the hand that humans have dealt them, they are here with us in sanctuary and we have to make big & small decisions for them every day.
I’m not sure if this makes sense, but watching Terry and his friends enjoy a random afternoon walk on the Bray on a chilly fall day in the foothills of the Cascade mountains epitomized these wins, losses, and choices in that I witnessed their freedom to choose an activity that I believe brought them joy. Today’s win, a moment of peace on the Bray, stemmed from tough decisions about how we could set them up for success in such a big, new enclosure and give them security in their choices. Then, as I’m standing on the Bray with Terry and his friends, I look over and am happy to see Annie heading in from being outside on the Hill. I look over a little bit more to see if anyone else was out and I see the spot where Jody is buried.
Wins, losses, grief, acceptance.
Some days the wins feel extra big, some days you feel the losses extra hard. And, some days when the sun is shining and the wind is cold, you feel it all at the same time.
Terry resting his eyes in the warm, winterized greenhouse:
P.S. Have you heard about our upcoming Comfort & Joy Auction and accompanying festivities? You can pick and choose how you want to participate, but we are asking you to take a moment to send us a video telling us which chimpanzee at CSNW brings you joy and why! Click here for details and instructions.
Linda C says
Terry is such a pal to keep you company, Grace!
I lived seeing the two guys (?) hoist themselves up onto the Escher in tandem.
Was wondering if Mave would go out, with some encouraging words or coaxing. But I’m sure you’ve tried that
Mark B. says
Nicely written blog today!
CarolR says
Very thoughtful blog today, Grace….thank you. Do you have forages on the Bray…I can’t recall seeing any, but I might have just missed them?
Pat F. says
Grace, your column today was lovely and many of us could relate small sections to our lives. can only try to imagine days that are not “right”. But you WORKERS labor on and find satisfaction in your current endeavors. Love & Prayers for your devoted work.
Kathleen says
Grace, this was beautiful. I appreciate your openness. Everything you said makes perfect sense. The other day Kelsi asked for reviews for Great Nonprofits, you could include this post. I says it all. It’s why we are here. It’s why we keep coming back. It’s why we support this small but mighty sanctuary.
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marianne says
I do so agree with you Kathleen.
Small but very lovingly powerful.
Susan Kathleen Feeley says
Thankyou, Grace, for sharing today’s blog and the heart warming video of the chimps enjoying their day. I love listening to the background sounds in the videos and feel like I am there with you all. Some days may feel like losses and other days you win a little. I guess it’s all part of life’s tapestry. One thing I know for sure and that is you all at the sanctuary live up to those three magic words on your website “Hope Love Home”. You are all heroes and I thank you. I know the chimps and bovines thank you, too!
Eli says
Thank you for the beautiful blog today. Everyone’s work to make sanctuary possible for these beautiful chimpanzee people is such a blessing. Every day they spend in sanctuary is a day that the lab and all of that trauma and fear is farther and farther behind them. All of the staff at CSNW make that possible.
Paulette says
That bright sun beam seemed like a spotlight following the chimps. “it’s cold, but I’ll keep you warm”