It was so, so hard to retrain myself today. After all, it’s the first day of the fourth month of this year, making it → A P R I L F O O L ‘ S D A Y ←, the best day of the year for light-hearted shenanigans.
Unfortunately, it’s not easy to come up with feasible pranks around here. We can’t play dramatic jokes on the chimps because so much of their daily routine is done just the way they like it and mixing things up can cause a lot of confusion. We also take safety very seriously, so surprising each other with unexpected circumstances can be risky, too. On top of all that, we’re just too darn busy to go around the sanctuary playing practical jokes on each other and cleaning up the resulting messes.
That leaves one plausible alternative: trying to fool all of you.
I considered writing a fake blog post that would be somewhat absurd but almost believable. The champions of this art form are the writers at The Onion who have made satirical hoaxes into their own brand of journalism. They miss their target occasionally, but most of their stuff is on point. The Onion has been in the game for a long time, giving their staff time to cover all sorts of topics, from politics to science. If you want to read some of their animal-themed articles, I recommend:
“Jane Goodall Announces She’s All About Lizards Now”
“Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday”
“Zookeepers Confirm Pandas Not Mating Because They’re Scared of Messing Up Friendship”
Over the past couple of days, I mulled over some Onion-esque headlines that I could share today in an attempt to prank our blog followers. The actual, verified news in 2021 has been weird enough, giving me some inspiration. For example, I could have posted that:
- We traded the cattle for a herd of goats because… you know.. goats.
- J.B. made Burrito’s “Hey Girl” portrait into an NFT and sold it for $18.1 million
- Missy and Annie are leaving the sanctuary to go on that cross-country road trip they’ve always talked about
- Honey B is dropping her first studio album, titled Soap Bucket, under the pseudonym “Money B”
- The crew divided Young’s Hill into ten smaller enclosures so the chimps can follow social distancing guidelines
The worst idea of them all was one so diabolical that I almost feel guilty for even thinking it up. I genuinely considered telling you all that today’s blog post would be the final one… EVER.
It was nearly perfect, as far as pranks go. Crucially, it’s actually quite believable. Apart from routine caregiving, the expansion has been the main priority for us lately. This growth necessitates fundraising for the new greenhouses, coordinating with contractors, painting and furnishing the new playrooms, and getting the records in order for the six chimpanzees we hope to welcome this summer. We are truly looking for ways to streamline our day-to-day operations to compensate for all the new tasks we’ve added to our schedules, and there’s now a precedent for spending less time on the blog. (In case you missed it, we recently had to post abbreviated blog entries for a few weeks while we participated in virtual training sessions.) My plan was to drop this sad news on all of you and then correct it before we resumed blogging tomorrow. Gotcha!
After discussing my idea with Diana and J.B., I was convinced that this joke could easily go too far. So many people use our social media as their primary window into the lives of the chimpanzees and cattle, whom they love from afar. Despite the tempting lure of April Fool’s glory, I just couldn’t break any of your hearts like that.
In light of all this, you’ll be surprised to know that the rest of this blog post is completely serious. There isn’t a single joke in here. Nothin’ but facts. Unaltered truth, fact-checked by yours truly. Exceptionally honest, through and through.
Besides April Fool’s Day, today was noteworthy for one main reason.
The contractors have finished their work in the new playrooms and these spaces are almost ready for chimps. There are now functioning hydraulic doors from the existing enclosures into each playroom. Notably, the crew had to modify some of the caging in the Mezzanine, resulting in a new “cubby”. Honey B, Mave and Willy B have been taking turns using the odd little space as breakfast nook and nesting cave, among other things. Poor Willy initially seemed nervous to touch the floor in this tiny little space, despite the fact that it’s the same material as the floors in his other indoor enclosures. He brought a plastic stool to sit on instead, limiting himself to a couple feet of head-room.
With the welding complete and doors working, J.B. was able to touch up the paint and Chad has begun hanging firehose “vines” for the chimps to climb on. Mave and Honey B supervised from the downstairs window and the new cubby, respectively. We plan to clean the new playrooms this weekend and then give some of the chimps access to them very, very soon. Stay tuned for updates!
Here are some additional photos of the new playrooms (including one of the vista from the upstairs windows).
Meanwhile, the contractors will begin securing the steel caging to the outdoor greenhouses. It may be difficult to visualize these new areas just yet, but you can trust us when we say that they’re going to be amazing multi-use habitats for Honey B, Mave and Willy B and six new chimpanzees. We already have a foundation and frame in place for these structures, so we’re confident that these spacious greenhouse enclosures will be ready before the summer!
P.S. I’m offering special internet bonus points to anyone who can find the marmot hidden somewhere in this post.
Louise Manson says
What amazing designs for the chimps to explore. Great going.
Anthony says
We agree, Louise! Thank you!
Ken says
Thank you for the wonderful blog today I hope you all had a fun day.
Such beautiful work being done! whoever’s doing the murals, great job! 😉 Found that marmot you mentioned could have been near some cattails or looking to get out the window – I don’t know.
Thank you again.
Anthony says
Thanks for your support, Ken! And yes, the marmot seems to be looking over the ridgelines of the Cascades with a wistful gaze.
John Joseph O'Brien says
Regarding the second paragraph, I feel humans should take your words to heart.
Anthony says
Thanks for reading, John! Are you referring to the paragraph about the difficulty of creating mischief around the sanctuary?
John Joseph O'Brien says
I like how all the buildings and rooms are taking shape. Kudos to everyone.
Anthony says
Thanks, John!
Susan Knight says
Found it. It’s a shadowy figure that’s for sure. ??
Shadowy Evil Marmot Silhouette says
“Muahahahhaha” – shadowy marmot silhouette in the new playrooms
PatC says
Everything is looking so great!!! So excited for this next phase!! (Also: great prank idea, Anthony! You of course would have “april fools!” us at that end of that pranky-post, wouldn’t you?)
Anthony says
The marmot’s no joke! Thank you, Pat! 🙂
Linda C says
Well, the April Fool’s joke was that the blig didn’t push to my email, I had to come looking for it….
You guys…..it was National Burrito Day. I thought for SURE you’d do something!
Kathleen says
Hahaha, you are correct. The real April fools tick was that blog didn’t arrive in my email either. : )
Anthony says
That’s so strange! I posted it normally, so I’m not sure what caused that.
Anthony says
That’s odd. I’ll look into it.
As for Burrito Day… maybe we’ll have a celebration next year!
Linda C says
First Thursday in April. We’ll have to keep an eye out for it for you. Though you’ll hopefully be less busy next year, much less!
CarolR says
Got it! Very clever. Another great post and puzzle. It’s so exciting to see how close you are to opening the new facilities. It’ll be interesting to see how Willy B reacts to more space and materials, but I’ve no doubt his courage will win in the end, and the reward will be those views. Have the new six ever experienced the outdoors at all? Many thanks as always for keeping us up to date…. I don’t know what we would do without our daily serving of joy, excitement and happiness.
Anthony says
Thanks, Carol! We’re optimistic that Willy will adjust quickly since the new playrooms share many characteristics with their existing indoor areas.
I’ve never visited the Wildlife Waystation facility, but my understanding is that they had one area which was an outdoor, covered chain-link or steel mesh enclosure. The same is true for Honey B, Mave and Willy B.
marianne says
Oh a marmoth….I wasn’t sure what it was….but it all looks beautiful with the wallpainting, very creative. Who’s the painter in the SCNW family???
I am excited to see how the 3 will enjoy the new spaces; can’t wait to watch that long video ( hint, hint).
Do the new 6 have to wait for the greenhouses to be ready before they can come to the sanctuary?
Anthony says
I’m not sure if we’ll immediately post a video on the first day, but you can rest assured that we’ll be taking lots of photographs and video recordings when they finally get access!
We’re not planning to bring in additional chimps until the new greenhouses are complete. Since new arrivals will have to quarantine in a separate area for a month or so, we need to ensure that all chimps have some sort of outdoor access for that period.
Regarding the murals, I believe J.B. conceptualized everything with some input from care staff, our dedicated volunteer Erin J. chose the colors (she’s an amazing artist!), and volunteers Lisa T. and Courtney G. helped as painters. They’re all friends of the chimpanzees so it was nice to have them contribute their skill to the new playrooms. I’m quite sure that the marmot, in particular, was J.B.’s work.
Kathleen says
Wow, that’s progress!!! I saw that adorable marmot right away but was thinking it was a river otter (forgive me, I’m from the east cost!). J.B did an exceptional job adding the atmosphere to the new room. The silhouettes are perfect, all favorite things of the Seven and hopefully, once exposed to the great outdoors, favorites of the CA gang too. And the climbing tree is super cool, I love it!
Willy B. Eeesh, for such big chap he is a delicate boy isn’t he? Holding my breath that the fresh air and opportunity to expand his world will be so great that Willy B will not be able to resist the new greenhouse. Wood chip flooring and all. Sigh…..
May ask what if there’s an intended purpose for the cubby or is it really just a happy accident? Assuming a nice nook for medical check if necessary? And it looks as if too is hydraulic? Very curious….
Anthony says
I’m an East Coaster too, Kathleen! The marmots are essentially just more colorful versions of the groundhogs/woodchucks seen across the northeast. There is a lively and dense population of these things in our stretch of the valley, and they love the wood piles and old farm structures on the fringes of our property.
The cubby is not designed for chimp enrichment, but is rather the only way we could accommodate a hydraulic door between the Mezzanine and far playroom. We essentially made a tiny extension of the Mezz so that the door would line up, since the enclosures don’t actually share a wall. We’re pleasantly surprised that the chimps thing it’s a cool addition. Meanwhile, the other new playroom can be accessed from the downstairs front rooms and there are various doorways allowing chimps to move between the new playrooms and greenhouses. The door network will also give care staff more options for shifting chimps around to facilitate cleaning, socializations, enrichment, etc.
As for Willy, I laughed at: “Eeesh, for such big chap he is a delicate boy isn’t he?” Same here, Willy. Same here.
Jennifer Wallace says
Found the Marmot 🙂
Love the new area!
Thanks for the fun April Fool’s post. That poor gorilla 🙁
Anthony says
Thanks, Jenn! We’re so excited to offer more space to the residents (and inch closer to welcoming more chimps!).
As for The Onion, they don’t show much mercy when they do satire. The craziest part is that they used actual footage of The Gorilla Foundation’s Koko to make that video.
Cara says
Well done! I re-read the post, looking for the word ‘marmot’. It was only after reading the responses did I find the image! That’s my kind of prank, thank you!
debbie says
One year for April Fool’s, Jackie and I served dinner for breakfast and we did a few other things backwards, but I can’t remember all our “tricks” exactly. All for our own amusement of course… the chimps didn’t seem to notice. 🙂