Today, Friday, June 13, 2025 is the 17th arrival anniversary of the Cle Elum Seven: Jamie, Missy, Annie, Burrito, Foxie, Jody, and Negra. They arrived at Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest on Friday, June 13, 2008.
That day in 2008 was the birth of their new lives, and we made the decision to celebrate Negra’s birthday from that day forward on June 13th. She was the eldest and we felt she needed a new beginning more than any other.
And now we also have Terry at our sanctuary, whose true date of birth is June 13th!
It’s a whole lot to celebrate, and the symbolism of the day is even more salient with the recent arrival of George.
It’s also a significant day, for a different reason, for Michail and Marya. Michail’s is the first of several sponsor-a-days that we will be sharing on this special day.
Some of you reading this will likely recognize the name Marya. She was a loyal follower and frequent commenter on this blog. Marya passed at the end of last year.
Marya was endlessly curious about the behavior of the chimpanzees and their personalities, and took obvious delight in learning more about them, asking questions on the blog, emailing me with supportive words, and sending donations whenever she could. I know Marya would be THRILLED to know that she helped get George to CSNW through her donations.
There’s so much about her that I didn’t know when she was alive, and I was glad to find out about through her husband, Michail, after she passed.
Below is his sponsor-a-day letter in memory of Marya, telling a bit of their story and their celebrations of Friday the 13ths.
You can scroll down to the end to read Michail’s summary message, which I placed in bold font, but you’ll probably want to go back to read his touching words about the love of his life. I imagine Marya might be embarrassed about this attention focused on her on the blog, I’m very glad we can recognize her in this way on a special Friday the 13th.
Jamie would approve, I just know it.
It is with great pleasure to have the opportunity to describe my first memory of being made aware of Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest by my Dearly Beloved, Marya Mendelson Barey. She was getting treatment infusions in a hospital bed, and that delightful memory was the playful sounds of chimps coming out of her iPhone video, that she had discovered and was watching, commingled with her uncontrollable giggling. It was the early days in our COVID-19 quarantine in a daunting stage 3 drug trial that lasted thirty-four 10-day cycles 4 weeks apart at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. And that joyful memory, for me, marked the beginning of a new love (for all things chimpanzees love) that immediately sustained a greater quickening level of compassion in Marya and I also am certain that by virtually hanging out with and financially supporting her chimps have added precious living years to her real life, not counting her relentless, medically challenging schedule.
When I asked to sponsor this special Friday the Thirteenth, it was to commemorate the 98th anniversary of that first Friday the Thirteenth in October 1967. Â That was a magical day. We were classmates who spent time together on a field trip in St. Petersburg in her first year at Florida Presbyterian College. I knew we were falling into love by sunset of that first day of our forever life together. She was 17 years old, and I was 19. It took us 6 months on Good Friday April 12, 1968, until our first kiss, standing on the seawall of our beach front campus, where we had walked so that I could share the news that my granddaddy had just died, where we found ourselves with tears streaming down both our cheeks, kissing. When we were married on the last day of January in 1970 and moved off campus, I was 21 and Marya was 19. The short story is I have a list of all those 98 celebrations of Friday the Thirteenths, including today which happens to be the only 13th Friday in 2025.
After our 14.5 year honeymoon when we didn’t even have a fight or even spend a night apart, at one point we found our separate paths in schools, where she got a PhD in Psychology at the University of Missouri in Columbia, while I became a Licensed Unity Teacher at Unity School of Christianity in Unity Village (near Kansas City). Skip 56 years ahead to 2023 which was how long it took for that momentous 1967 calendar to be identical. We chose to renew our wedding vows on Friday the Thirteenth in October, 2023. And by then I’d gotten to hear about Jamie and her fashion statements. Marya even sent her a scarf, and it was an awesome moment when Marya saw Jamie wearing it on a video, not that Jamie was her favorite, but the scarf was not all that brought her to tears. There’s Burrito who had a near death experience taking a snakebite to guard his group, or the chimp who had spent decades in a laboratory and, when given a chance, she went straight up to top of a tree like she’d been doing it every day.
I saw that brief video where the chimps were gathered saying their goodbyes to Jody and was brought to tears when the one elder, who I call Grandmother Shaman, stretched out her arm and scooped up to heaven the spirit of one who was, as Marya said, “Called Back”) and all the countless chimps’ names who were written on the back of the inside of Marya’s heart, who touched her heart truly and deeply (as other human way showers: Hildegard of Bingen, Mother Teresa, Matthew Fox, Richard Rohr, David Whyte, Robert Bly, Mirabai Starr), that she kept prayer vigil with in silent unity, in that fierce and tender love that inhabits the soul, to hold safe and protect from harm, centered, from the heart of compassion for all sentient beings.
At this point, I can hear Marya, as she has so many times over the 5 decades we’ve been swapping stories, saying something gentle like: “That’s enough context already, you’d best be getting to your point.” Mostly always, I’d keep going for a bit, knowing it was risky because my “chipmonk” ways might take a wrong turn and I’d drive a Hertz truck dead-end into a cornfield (like when we were on the Blue Ridge Parkway moving to Princeton Theological Seminary), but not wanting her to lose patience, I will pick up the pace (especially since I am writing) before I hear the final stern suggestion, “Just spit it out, I already know what you’re going to say.” Truth be told, today is not about the miracle journey, daily now moment to moment walk with my left foot named gratitude and my right step called answered prayer (that’d be a chapter book anyway), it’s really all about Jamie’s group and synchronicity.
We made it to Fred Hutch Cancer Care fifth floor on time for blood and platelets infusions the morning of December 10, 2024. Marya’s blood pressure dropped while already holding hands with her nurses she trusted the most before the emergency response team came, and she took the first ambulance ride of her life to UW Medical Center, got a room for the night which we all agreed she might not make it through, but we had a six hour bubble, after the machines were turned off, when we were able to say everything we needed to say that was on our hearts and then some.
Two things: We knew this was a 13th Friday month, and she said, “You have to call Diana at the Sanctuary.”
And the next day, she waited for me, conscious, peaceful, radiant, and when I arrived to say, “I’m here. I love you. Never in my whole life have I seen you so beautiful,” she couldn’t see or speak, but she gave me a smirk, that meant she let me have the last word. You see, Marya’s courage was a great soul of forgiveness and grace, when it came down to letting go, such a one who laid her body down four or five breaths after that last word, beautiful, that she left me, quietly at 6:44p, with my heart full of a joy unspeakable, eventually, in a month or so, a turtle named sorrow waltzed in to inhabit my heart also, and a comfortable time after that, a loneliness, I’d never known the likes of before in my whole life, evolved into a peaceful solitary freedom.
Skip to New Year’s Day morning when Diana returned my call on her day off. It was a long call because she had only seen Marya once on a zoom and she had no idea (and wanted to hear about it all) that Marya was an ovarian cancer survivor since 2003, that chemo knocked out the second recurrence that had reached stage four in 2017, or that it was MDS a blood cancer that slowly turned into leukemia when the drug trial ended.
Near the end of our call, I was describing the significance of Friday the Thirteenths, she paused the call, came back and said, “Just wanted to make sure I was right, and that the arrival of Jamie’s group at the Sanctuary was Friday, June 13, 2008. We’ve had one 6th Anniversary in 2014, and we’re planning a 17th Anniversary this year in June.”
Of course, Marya never mentioned our lifelong 13th Friday celebrations to Diana, but Marya would’ve dearly loved to have known this serendipity of Jamie’s group intake. So today it has been a distinct honor to share in Marya’s Chimpanzee Sanctuary Legacy, to connect some of the dots for you to know why I just had to request to sponsor this special day, on so many levels.
What this day is all about, for Marya and me, is how we never know how connected or related we are as a family, beyond our births and our deaths, or another way to say it, that we may mostly always know who touches our heart, but we will usually never know how many hearts our one heart has touched, or the difference we make to everyone who’s path coincides with our own in the living years.
As Diana said, after reading the highlighted “end of the story summary” I was compelled to go back and read every word of Michail’s dedication to his beloved Marya and to the Chimpanzee people who gave their souls to Marya and left their footprints on the hearts of both Marya and Michail… as they have with me and SO many others. Fridaya the 13’s have always been a notable and good day in my world. Marya’s path is much like my mother’s, who was diagnosed with uterine/ovarian cancer in 1988 and given 3-4 years “to live”. Which she did! After a return of the cancer in 2002 she lived a total of 19 years beyond the first diagnosis, passing in 2007. That was before I learned about CSNW. I have often thought of how much my mother would have LOVED the chimpanzees. The hearts that we each touch throughout our lives enrich their lives and ours. What a beautiful tribute – thank you Michail and Diana for letting us all peek through the window to learn of your love.
dear judy, sounds like your mom and marya were cut from the same cloth. marya was a strong advocate for self care and being kind to yourself and only retired in dec 2023. all year long in 2024 she would frequently be giving most of the fifth floor nurses while she was getting her treatments little personal comassion fatigue seminarets, marya taking care of them so they could take care of her. i imagine your had a similar positive way with people taking of her all those years of being a survivor. my are with you for your loss. angelove blessings for you and your family and dears ones. michail and thx 4 yr kindhearted words that have touched me deeply:pray::heartpulse::butterfly:
Dear Michail – Thank you for your kind words and thoughts about my mother. I continue to think about Marya and the love story that you two lived. No Friday the 13th will pass without me sending up a greeting to your dear Marya – and to you. I felt compelled to share with you that yes, as a retired school teacher, my mom volunteered until about a year before she passed in some lower income area classrooms. But also she was a member of the local Unity church and had a Masters in Religious Education – she put her full self and talents into organizing the curriculum for the Sunday School classes at Unity for nearly 2 decades. She also made at least one (maybe more) trip/s to Unity Village for event/s. Clearly a common thread. The chance crossing of souls brings the meaning in life to the forefront – all made possible by this amazing group of humans and chimpanzee people at CSNW. Take care, Judy
dear judy, I discovered Unity Village just in time for the 100th anniversary. since 1988, I was working at a local Lee’s Summit dodge dealership as a secretary treasurer for 22 months. A year later I started as a tour guide and then transferred up stairs to the Chapel Office working for Christopher Ian Chenoweth. A couple of years i worked a day shift in Silent Unity as a prayer centered phone worker who answers prayer requests where we took one million calls the first calendar year. no cell phones in those days so at some point James Dillet Freeman gave me an open invitation to drop in to his home anytime. It was the most metaphysical and mystical time of my life. Hard to believe silent unity continuous 24/7 prayer (which began at Myrtle Fillmore’s kitchen table out of the heart of gratitude from her healing consciousness that started with her Healing affirmation: “I am a child of God therefore I do not inherit sickness.”) until this year makes 136 years from 1889. I taught the Quest Class of 70 attendees in the silent unity chapel based on Richard and Mary Alice Jafolla’s book until 1995 when we moved to port huron Michigan. My seven years at Unity Village world Headquarters was the most fulfilling work in sustainable spiritual service and i have worked on a Love Offering basis since I left there. Small world for our Lives to touch, yours and mine, on our separate paths with heart…
Michail – Your time and teachings at Unity, and elsewhere, have touched many. Thank you again for sharing and for all you shared. Marya and her spirit are fortunate to have found you..
Thank you, Michail for sharing your memories, I’m truly grateful for the experience.
you are welcome
Thank you, Michail, for sharing this beautiful post about Marya, Friday the 13ths, and the Chimps. It was a beautiful read and full of love, love, and then some more love. I understand how fully the chimps could create joy for Marya.
My late sister, Doreen, who passed away from leukemia, was also so inspired by Foxie and Friends. Even as the EMT were working on Doreen, I was calmed down by CSNW. We have photos of CSNW on our shelf, and one of the first responders was talking to me about Doreen’s love of chimps, which comforted me. Thank you.
thx don for reminding me how often the nurses would not take vitals until they’d heard the latest chimp stories. watching and sharing chimps at play gives us access to deep play within ourselves. kalelove
I remember Marya. We find a kinship with other comment contributors here on the blog. Then one day we realize we haven’t seen a comment in quite a while, and wonder…
Our beloved chimps have no idea how many hearts have been touched by them. And we all have no idea how we touch other hearts every day.
Thank you for that reminder today Michail. You and Marya, and our chimps of course, are in my thoughts and in my heart.
thx for confirmation how this chimp openheartedness completes circles of life when we simply share our eartheartruthealing in now moments like these, anytime, anywhere in a rippling way we are grounding ourselves and co-creating a peaceful world that makes a difference, no matter what:pray::butterfly:we are the butterfly effect
First, never apologize for fully explaining all the significant details that are clearly necessary to breathe life into a story. You had me and my heart hanging on your every word. Context is vitally important. 🙂 Your tribute to Mayra has left me in tears. It took me four tries to get through the final paragraph. I want to let you know that on this particular Friday the 13th you have touched my heart in a beautiful way.
You had me grabbing my Kleenex when you poetically wrote : “…all the countless chimps’ names who were written on the back of the inside of Marya’s heart”. Yes! Like Mayra, I believe that’s exactly how we all feel about those who reside at CSNW. Each individual is etched into our hearts. I also want you to know that I enjoyed Mayra’s posts. I miss her voice on the blog. Thank you for giving us this opportunity, this insight into your life, so we can honor the courageous person she was. I wish the chimpanzees knew how many hearts they have touched, the number of individuals that have been comforted by their daily antics, the joy they give us just by being their beautiful resilient selves. Today, as I celebrate Queen Negra’s birthday, the Cle Elum Seven’s arrival at sanctuary anniversary, and Floofy Terry’s birthday, I will include your beloved Mayra, too. The world needs people like her. We are all connected.
A(wo)men, kathleen, hallelujah. and you had me with your “First,”… sentence, ain’t it some kinda wonderful that “we all are connected” in love and light and laughter and life, no matter what, whether we know it for ourselves or not, and these tears are flowing from fountain called joy, bless you & yrs, we sure love you in this here forever now:pray::heartpulse::butterfly:we are the butterfly effect, world peace begins in we (A-WE-SO-ME)…
What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing. It brought tears to my eyes.
did you know richard rohr has a book, the tears of things?
thx for listening, it took three days to remember, write, edit, with sweat and tears, and finally, trust it was done, and let it go fly away free. marya was the speed typist of our family of two,
Thank you Michail and thank you Mayra. I think that Today’s birthday honorees would approve of the generosity of spirit of your soulmate and yourself.
you are welcome
Thank you Michail, For sharing your beautiful love story with Mayra.
It really touched my heart.
I have always felt that Friday the 13th’s are special…. Now I know why.:revolving_hearts:
I am so sorry that you lost your best girl, Michail. Thank you for sharing your story with us, the good behind Friday the 13th.
Things move so quickly, don’t they? 39 yrs ago, I was just starting grad school, living away from home for the first time in another state (I’d lost my father to brain cancer when I was 14, so commuted during college, it was cheaper). My friends had left to begin the drive back to MI after helping me move my things to WI. There I was in Madison in August, a very hot summer day, with $20 to last me I didn’t know how long, and not enough courage to go exploring. A knock came at my door. It was one of the other 2 TAs from my dept who lived in my building, would I like to go down to her floor for some coffee?
I wasn’t a coffee person then (grad school changed that :slight_smile:), and it was 98Âş, but I was so happy to see someone! We got married the same summer (hers lasted, mine didn’t), took prelims together, met up at conferences when we could. We’ve stayed in touch through the years, even more so since she lost her husband 6 yrs ago. The friends who will hang out with you when all you can afford to do is listen to the radio and hang your feet in the lake are the kind who last forever.
39 years later, 3 weeks ago, that same friend, who’s nearing retirement in MN, doesn’t feel well. She finishes the semester, has some tests, and last week, they had a “success” because they were able to remove 80% of her brain tumor. She’s just called; her speech is already clearer than it has been for a week, and we’re at the “what now?” stage. How do I schedule a visit from the east once she’s out of rehab, timing it to be there for when she (hopefully) can walk again, be there when chemo starts, when so much is up in the air, and time it so we can make the best out of what might be one of our last two visits? (though we’re not giving up yet, we both quoted MP Holy Grail tonight on the phone, keep that cart away, thank you!)
I will think of you and Marya as we watch some videos during treatments. I don’t think she’ll ever appreciate my favorite chimpy people as much as I do (she much prefers orange-flavored cats, cozy mysteries, and even sappy Hallmark movies), but I certainly hope that I’ll be able to remember and focus on, as you have, the best moments during the darkest of times.
Thank you for honoring Marya sponsoring the chimps’ anniversary and birthdays today. In you, she lives on.
dearest linda, thx for your kindnesses. marya was an empath who could read faces and more often than not say things that let whoever she was with know they’d found a listener in her who was safe and trustworthy, she was unconditional in her compassion in every now moment. being a caregiver is not always easy, so be kind to yourself, because the self care you take of yourself will increase the gift of your care. my prayers will include your situation and concerns in divine order for the highest and best good in the easiest and gentlest way possible. you are a blessing to all with whom your path coincides.
Dear Michail, Thank you so much for taking the time to write the beautiful story of you and Marya, your love of Friday the 13ths, and their connection to the chimpanzees and all the other creatures (humans included) at CSNW. I was literally bawling reading it (so much so that parts got a little blurry and I had to calm myself down a bit!) Love stories like yours and Marya’s don’t happen to everyone, and although I know you must miss her more than you ever could have imagined, I am so glad you two were lucky enough to have found each other way back in 1967 and fallen in love in St. Petersburg. (BTW when I was a kid we took several family vacations to St. Pete Beach — yes, in a station wagon! So I was imagining you both on the beach where we used to stay at the Alden, which is a lovely spot for watching sunsets.) Bless you for sponsoring yesterday in memory of your beloved Marya and continuing her support of the Sanctuary.
Thank you, Michail for the beautiful remembrance of Marya and your life together. What a precious soul.