Someone once said to me upon hearing of some particularly stressful aspect of our work (I don’t even recall what, I think we were preparing for a medical intervention for one of the chimpanzees), that they were “surprised.” They thought we all “just stood around holding hands and singing Kumbaya.” Ah. A once soul felt call for divine intervention from oppression and suffering taken from its suspected origins of the enslaved ancestors of the Gullah Geechee people in Georgia, to its then soft-voiced folk appropriation in the name of peace and solidarity, now used more often as an eye-rolling, head-shaking, somewhat barbed reference to considered…naivety? Cockeyed optimism? For many reasons, I wasn’t sure whether to be curious or annoyed. I think I fell somewhere in the middle, which is where I suspect the comment was meant to land.
My thoughts have snagged on that barbed memory these weeks as we navigate the pure, undiluted stress, exhaustion, joy, fear, and well, reality, of introductions with the chimpanzees. I think we’ve all hinted to these expected and unexpected challenges in varying degrees in our blogs lately. Diana spoke beautifully and openly to this just the other day in her blog post. And I think one of the biggest personal challenges for most of us, certainly for me personally, is the aspect of personal responsibility. Knowing intellectually that we are making the best decisions we can for the chimpanzees doesn’t negate the weight on your heart for being one more human controlling their lives, putting them in situations that aren’t easy for them, that cause unavoidable stress, fear and discomfort, and probable injury.
Chimpanzees are loving, gentle, sensitive, joyful, nurturing, creative, highly emotional and intelligent beings. And they can also be violent and unpredictable faster.than.you.can.blink.an.eye. Literally. Even toward their friends. It’s the business of being a chimp. (Also a human, I might add). And as a side note, reason No. 189 chimps aren’t pets and never ever should be. But in the end, I envy chimpanzees and their nature of unapologetically expressing exactly what they feel at any given time, then promptly sorting it out and moving along. It’s also the business of being a chimp. (But not so much a human, I might add).
So while our chests clench and we hold our breath as we witness the chimps scream, fight and come up against their own comfort levels, fears and social skills, we also hold our hearts as we witness increasingly amazing moments. Like arriving in the morning to see Honey B and Negra playing a slow game of chase upstairs. Or watching Jamie and Mave become increasingly inseparable as we marvel at Jamie’s ability to finally forge a true bond with someone of her own species. Or seeing Honey B reach out to Missy for reassurance after a fight, watch Missy place her hands gently on Honey B’s arms as Honey B held her mouth to Missy’s brow and then, see Missy slowly take Honey’s arm and wrap it around her back in an embrace. My hand flew to my heart, I teared up over that one. Even though it meant something different to me than them, me knowing their mother-daughter connection, it was no less powerful or moving. Especially seeing the distance they’ve come going from avoiding one another completely to more often than not being seen playing chase or just sitting quietly with one another. Or to see dear Annie who spent the better part of the first week of introductions screaming at the top of her lungs, intensely breathy-panting and grunting at Willy B while grabbing his feet in some socially awkward over-the-top play and reassurance gestures while huge, massive Willy B sat quietly wiggling his feet, letting her be herself.
We have a long way to go and some more tough days ahead. But I am so proud and in awe of Mave, Willy B, Honey B, Jamie, Jody, Foxie, Burrito, Missy, Annie and Negra. And I’m proud and in awe of the far-reaching team of humans standing in the wings, doing everything we can think of for the chimps and holding the space, trusting they’ll figure it out. Trusting we will all figure it out.
The chimps spent the better part of this day quiet, lounging in the sun, grooming, resting and eating. Not a lot of which was done within camera range. But here’s Willy B enjoying the view from the top of the toasty greenhouse:
And Foxie peeking over her doll, nap interrupted:
Two days in a row….that’s great! Breeeeathe……:)
Beautiful post and thank you!! U R all doing just the most perfect job of taming this “unknown” territory! BRAVO Love and hugs to you all….
When are the new kids going to be able to go outside?
Hi Vicki,
They’ve had a few opportunities to go outside once things with the first introductions with Missy, Annie and Jody settled a bit, but even with Jody’s encouragement, they weren’t quite ready and chose not to go out. We are being cautious not to overwhelm them with too much at once, but they’ll have more opportunities as introductions move forward.
Chimpanzees and humans alike can change temperament in a flash, but chimps have a superior and, you could say, more evolved emotional life than humans: they forgive, forget, make peace, move on. We hold tight to an insult, perceived or real, and are cheap with our forgiveness. Could that we would learn there would be fewer broken souls and fewer murderous wars.
So true
What a beautiful post Katelyn, Thank you.
I believe you have a novel in your future…. a bestseller!
Wonderful, well expressed post… as are they all. It continues to “surprise” me that some people don’t seem to grasp just how incredibly sensitive this entire situation is…. and now much weight is on CSNW’s shoulders in the unfolding of this extraordinary
mixing of personalities. Love and hugs to all of you who are doing an amazing job of making this go as smoothly as possible… while at the same time clearly it is not taken lightly by anyone at CSNW. You are all amazing!
May I be frank? Whoever made that stupid Kumbaya comment clearly has never worked with captive wildlife and knows zero about what is involved. So his/her ignorant remark can be safely ignored and forgotten ASAP as you go about your very serious stressful task
Yes we should all be more like chimps!
Katelyn, a very moving, heartfelt blog. I think with any luck by Christmas everyone will be good buddies with new flourishing relationships.
2 quick qustions:
1) how old are the “new kids”?
2) is a chimp’s position in the hierarchy based on age, gender or dominance or all the above. (Amazing to hear about Jamie and Mave!)
Thanks – you guys are doing a great job.
Lois
Beautiful sentiments, Katelyn. I too thought about how we humans are also controlling this current situation but I reminded myself of their past lab life and how much better off the chimps are now in comparison. Great work by all and thank you on behalf of those wonderful souls now in your care. Try to remember to tell yourselves, “well done” as you get through your day. Because it is so true.
I have been reading your daily posts about the introduction of your new chimps, and by learning the unique ways in which the chimps interact with each other, I’ve become more aware of the unique ways in which my human colleagues and I interact. We also struggle to maintain peace, navigate hierarchies, sooth ourselves and others, maintain family unity, sometimes intentionally provoke each other, and then go home at night to rest and wake up to do it all over again. It’s a different social system then the chimps have, but it’s recognizable enough for me to see that yes, I am a primate, and I have a built-in way of navigating the world. Maybe my personality is more of a Foxie, but I can choose to be a Mave at time, too. Thanks for giving us a glimpse into the world of these chimps. I can understand how stressful this is for you, but you have the full support of a lot of people out here.
You mention personal responsibility. That weight must be suffocating at times. I have been thinking what it must feel like to be in your shoes as you journey through the introductions and beyond. So many scenarios play out in my head after reading each blog. Just standing by quietly observing the conflicts seems like an unbearable challenge. Doing this day after day, with all the extra work, stress, and intense responsibility is mind blowing to me. And yet you still take the time daily to post your experiences and progress with all of us. I have no idea how you do it. Clearly the joyful moments make it all worth it.
Your every action is deeply appreciated. May you be greatly rewarded tomorrow during Giving Day for Apes! xoxo
What a thoughtful, thought-provoking, and heart-tugging post. Thank you so much.
Beautiful post!!
Such touching moments you have described in this post, a few had my eyes well up too. The many complex situations you are experiencing for the first time are being handled with such care and deep concern for the safety and independence of all the Chimps. How anyone could make such a stupid remark I will never know. Obviously they are not following the daily blogs to see WHAT you are dealing with and HOW you are dealing with it.
These posts are awesome and I tear up when reading them. Everything’s going to be all right (Bob Marley) 🙂
Lovely post, Katelyn. I laughed, I cried .. I oohed and I awwed. 🙂 I am so very happy that Jamie is responding so well to Mave’s calming influence, and that Missy & Honey B are bonding so sweetly. I was most worried about Annie, fearing that her old awkwardness would return to supplant her new-found confidence; but if Big Willy is humoring her, she’ll be ok. I trust him; and I trust all of you care-givers most of all.
Beautifully said. I still can’t thank you all enough for taking in Honey, Willy and Mave but for all your constant updates. I am beyond thrilled and more than a little scared of the intros that lie ahead but I have complete faith in you all. What has been accomplished thus far is nothing short of amazing in and of itself! Great job all! Humans and chimps!! Xoxo
Thank you for this beautiful post, Katelyn. Your ethics and your love and your care are so evident, and I think again how lucky these people are to be with all of you. Heartfelt. Lovely.
I’m reading your reads holding my breathe. Didn’t realize I was doing it until I let go. I can’t even imagine what all of you are doing and how you’re breathing. I’m guessing it’s seeing the peek of beautiful and loving behavior as well as the crazy sorting it all out behavior. I envy your ability and courage and knowledge as well as fingers crossed abilities. Love you all. I can’t even describe how fabulous these blogs are. I feel I have such a vested interest in the outcome of all of it. I’m pulling for everyone!